Using Our Feeling Bodies To Guide Our Mothering

As I have grown into motherhood I have become more and more grateful for authenticity. I value it’s importance and can see the benefits of authenticity in the connection with my children.

Authenticity is a form of honesty. It doesn’t mean we have to say everything we are thinking, or even feeling, if it isn’t appropriate to do so. In the context of mothering, it can mean different things at different times. 

Here are some examples of authentically communicating that have helped improve the quality of connection with my children. Communicating with them dislikes or likes. Today as I was folding the 5th or 6th load of laundry on our bed, I really needed to be clear with them about not wanting them to be crawling on the bed over the freshly folded laundry. I needed to clearly state my expectations and not falter from those. 

It sounds really simple when I write it out. However, I have had experiences in my journey where something will bother me, and instead of speaking to it, I will push past my inner knowing and allow something to occur that I am not okay with. I end up overwhelmed and angry, and parenting from those places isn’t productive or conducive to a healthy connection with ourselves or our children.

Today our youngest daughter really wanted to enjoy another snack. She was insisting on eating a coconut date, which is delicious! However, she had already had her fill of them earlier in the day and I did not feel at ease with her having more. I needed to be honest with her about the boundary around that snack and ask her to choose something else. Instead of just giving her the dates to appease her, so I could get more of that piled up laundry done! 

When we are authentic, it isn’t always pleasing for our children! It is important to acknowledge the feelings of disappointment or frustration and hold space for those as well. Our daughter cried in my lap for about 3 minutes, and because she is used to me holding my boundaries, (although it has taken TONS of practice for me!!!) she was able to accept her disappointment and choose another snack. She smiled at me and asked to have a vegan cheese stick instead, and enjoyed it contently while I tended to that laundry! 

I would love to hear about what experiences you find yourself being authentic with your child in. I would love to hear how they play out and how you feel after. I would also love to help you if you need guidance on how to find your confidence with mothering authentically. Please comment below or email me with your thoughts!

Until next time Mamas! Remember to be soft with yourselves, and that being authentic with our children allows them to be authentic with themselves!

XXOO 

Marlana —